“Be the heroine of your life"

We all have heard and read a lot that, in a country like India where goddesses are worshipped, women are treated like commodity. We have been told again and again that women in India are treated as a pleasure doll by men who use them for amusement to satisfy their lust and then they throw them away. Women are being harassed and assaulted physically mentally and emotionally since years but her plight has still not ended and their condition is deteriorating day by day. “Hundreds of time we have been told that all women need is respect care and attention, give it to her and she will make your life heaven”…

All that I have written above is true and I strongly believe that yes, our society still holds negative mentality for women. No matter how modern we become or how much broad minded we show ourselves to be, we are still a male dominated society.  But wait; think again, do we ever think why women need all such sympathies and consolations? What’s the need to say that women want respect n then only she can make your life heaven” stating these sorts of things for women actually show them more like a commodity.

I felt a need to write today by an instance that happened to me in the morning when I received a message from someone stating she was mentally and sexually used by somebody and then ditched later. He promised her of marriage and did what he wants with and later married a girl of his parent’s choice. Girl feel traumatized now and she wants to speak up to his newly wed wife now.  In the first instance I felt a strong agitation for the boy and his family, to ditch someone is sin and he should be punished for that and I still go with this but what outraged me is the state of girl too……being myself as a women, I do understand what a girl in that situation must be feel like, but still who the hell gave that guy permission to use her…no one dares to touch us without our permission (Rapes / forceful assault are exception and a separate issue). Why we girls don’t have control over ourselves. firstly we submit ourselves to other in the name of love and then later when something bad happens we cry and go on to blame our gender for that…..many people may find me wrong but reality is that many a times we women our self-responsible for our pathetic condition.

Are we so insecure, or dependent that some once can use us in the name of marriage? I feel surprised to even think of that. Marriage cannot be imposed on someone….marriage is a beautiful institution which binds two people in one thread. It’s a mutual decision and comes out of respect and love.

I feel terrible for girls who let themselves being used and then claim they are girls and men don’t respect them. We don’t want respect. Just because we are girls doesn’t mean we should be always respected and listened to. Respect is earned not demanded….women are strong and independent enough to earn that respect and love.

It’s high time now to understand that we women need not to say ”we are women and hence it happened” every time… we should take the responsibility of our every action. We are not puppets. we have got laws with us, we have got every fundamental right  that a man in this country has…our constitution has not discriminated anybody…..let’s stop them who say “women need sympathy and respect,  give it to them” let’s go out and find our own way….lets pledge that we won’t let anybody use us or to make fool of ours “It’s not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.”. Let’s feel strong about our identity and gender……we are not vulnerable……we have got everything. Let’s start from our self and spread it to the world…….we don’t need anybody’s sympathy….Remember, “inability, vulnerability, weakness or poverty is just a state of mind” in order to face them, all we need is a strong mind.

We all are independent enough to make our decisions and strong enough to stick by them. Don’t demand anything from anyone, let’s go and earn it and if anyone comes between this go and grab him. We have enough power within us to stand for our rights and get justice”

  “Be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” 

Love

Kiran Bhardwaj

Travelling in Himachal bus is more like a family affair

As I was reading today’s newspaper “The Tribune” An article by Mr. Krishna Gopal on the Himachal Road Transport Corporation struck my attention. He beautifully narrated drivers and conductors in Himachal Buses help people in need and how travelling in a HRTC bus is a delightful experience. That article reminded me several instances and experiences that I have seen in all these years during my travel in buses.

 

At some desolate wayside spot, a hand was projected from the sidewalk and the bus halted. A woman moved in and finding no seat vacant reconciled to travel standing. A young man quietly vacated his seat for her. At another point, an old man boarded and likewise another young man gave up his comfortable seat for him. One can often see even women giving up their comfortable seats to elders in bus. At yet another point, a man handed over to the driver a sum of Rs 10,000 to be delivered to a person at some other village en route. At still another point a girl waiting by the roadside, advanced towards the driver’s door and handed over a lunchbox for her father serving at a station en route. I am sure many of you have seen such instances in your travel time here. Such is the beauty of this place that No matter at what place  you are in , be it mandi, kangra, Shimla, solan or manali, such scenes are everywhere to see. There is a very cordial relationship between passengers and drivers- conductors in himachal. 

It’s been 6 years that I am continuously using bus services, earlier for college and now to job and in these entire years one thing that didn’t change is this hostile relationship btw fellow passenger and drivers- conductors, after initial greetings people get indulge in talking about general family cultures, politics and cricket. One can hardly think of them as strangers. It more likes a family atmosphere during travel. I have observed various times how our conductor is always ready to forgo his seat for some needy passenger. In the sweltering heat, if someone asks for water, the driver hands over his own water bottle. Even if a passenger requests the conductor to help hi, in bringing down his baggage from the rooftop, he conveniently agrees. I see all this almost daily and thinking about  it always put a smile on my face and  that’s why I often say travelling in Himachal is blissful, learning and  more of like a family affair.

Though I have travelled a lot in other state buses too but never seen or had any such beautiful instance during those travels. Even once had a brawl with a conductor who misbehaved with an old women coming from Chandigarh in Haryana road transport corporation. She was old and pleaded to driver to stop her mid station as it would take long for her to come all the way from station to home. First, despite her several pleadings he didn’t apply the brakes and when at last he did, he did it so forcefully that old women fell in the bus. The HRTC buses, on the contrary have quite smart crew members who do not compromise with reasonable speed and yet perform all humane tasks with open heart.

I know there may be so many states, villages, cities in India where such incidents can be seen or observed but as far as Himachal is concerned I must say a journey by a local or HRTC bus definitely corroborates its motto “Safe Service, Courteous Service”.

Are we heading to Mars?

Every Indian is feeling proud as India is aiming to join the world's deep-space pioneers with a journey to Mars that begins this week and costs $73 million or Rs. 450 crores. Indeed that was a day that has filled every Indian’s heart with pride. Just in a span of 64 years we have come so far. With the successfully test fires of 5000 km range Agni-V ICBM  in April 2012 to Mangalyan  in 2013, from metros to Akash tablets India is constantly growing in every field. Having a car or mobile is no more a dream, for common man, we have grown so much in technology. India is the fastest growing economy with the world class infrastructure being built in every city of India. indeed there is so much in India that we feel proud of……just 64 years and here are we with full of achievements.

But wait….are we really heading towards the right path????? A country is made and known by its people. No doubt in this era of globalization, it’s very important for a country to be technically and financially sound. Defense matters has to be taken seriously, for the upliftment of energy resources and for our security it’s important to go for nuclear missiles test and so on….but in this fast growing development what we are forgetting is our common man….. What purpose a large building or any space project will solve for a person who is unable to feed his children?  What’s the use of all these express highways or metros for a person who can’t even afford to travel in bus because of rising fares?  

 

Answer is simple…. If any of our citizen sleeps with hunger,, all these developments are of no value. First and foremost duty of each politicians or anyone in policy making is to stabilize the current rising prices of food items because Tv, mobiles can’t feed a person, its food which will enable a man to use these items later.

Baisc amenities of a common man need to be fulfilled more than anything else. Food, shelter & education is every man’s right. Firstly achieve this task so that every Indian will proudly claim with delight that Yes, we are heading to mars…:-)

with love,
Kiran

from my diary 05/11/13

Strange but true #

"we often forget to care for those people who respond to us immediately, paid attention to our minute talks or sent msgs, who even reply for the frivolous forwarded mails dat we sent to them whereas we keep on caring for people who often neglect such small things " our life is beautiful not because of those people who told us that they care but because of  those who showed their care and attention toward us by making efforts. They waited for us, complimented us for small small things , scolded us many times but more than anything they truly cared for what we are up to,  but unfortunately  Many a times such people go unnoticed. we have no idea how much space their little little acts have made in our heart for them until we loose them. Our parents ranks the first in this list  and rest it varies  from our siblings to neighbors , to  friends to colleagues & so on…

.

So before they slip away try to find them, know them, cherish them, love them and always be there for them because they are the  real  ones who loved u unconditionally and who have made you what you are today :-)

 

 we all are blessed with such people in our lives , its just that some people acknowledge them well in time & some not. Find out where you stand...:-)

with Love,

Kiran

Nation secular but are we?

Right from our childhood we all have been taught that we are a secular nation. A country which treats all its citizens equally irrespective of his caste, creed, race, religion and color. And it’s all true too, our Govt. policies, laws are equal for everyone, in fact it would be no wrong if I say that our schemes are much better for our minority groups. This nation has never discriminated anyone but what we are giving this nation in return??? Our hatred? Killing its children in the name of community??  Don’t u think being a part of India, all its people , no matter from which religion they belong, are our brothers and sisters? Aren’t we a family??

This nation has been wounded many times by external terror groups , thousands of our people have died in those attacks but still this nation came out of it and offered its help to everyone in need because its people stood united, They were all together at that hard time. But what this nation should do when its own very people start killing each other? Supporting one result in agitating other. This country is in a dilemma and we the people are responsible for it.

A boy teased a girl, her brothers opposed to it and went to talk to the guy and in return a furious mob killed them just in the name of community? Are we all sick? How can one relate such incidents with religion and community? We all have sisters, mothers and daughter’s at home and anyone will oppose such activity if it happens with them.  I don’t understand from where the hell came community in it???

Youngsters are the future of this nation and its important for them to understand these things in a broader way. Everyone has the human right to freedom of religion and belief. But often religion and belief can be used as grounds for discrimination and as weapons of division and hate. Religion, as is often forgotten by those without religion, has its roots in compassion, reciprocity, charity and peace-building. But religion, like political ideology, can also have its dark side in the form of hate, exclusion and fanaticism. As a nation, as an individual, we need to make sure that this does not happen with us.

The world is changing. India is changing. The demographic, social, economic, cultural, political and ecological facts scream this at us, every day.

If we are to have a peaceful, respectful future, then all of us must learn to make a leap of faith and trust.

Religion has, and will, have a critical role in doing this. But it will be the religious voices of love and acceptance that will contribute to a right and Bright future.

 

As u have read it till now, make sure you read this too http://epaper.bhaskar.com/detail/?id=322113&boxid=9923937281&ch=cph&map=map&currentTab=tabs-1&pagedate=09/10/2013&editioncode=186&pageno=9&view=image

May love and peace prevail in everyone’s life.

Love

Kiran Bhardwaj

"parents are a true blessing"

“One of the greatest titles in the world is parents, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call Mom and Dad”

If there is anyone in this world, to whom we can fearlessly go, cry, tell our problems to or who never judge us are indeed our parents. They are one who brought us in life, who taught us, made us capable of what we are today. Indeed many of us are aware of all these things there’s nothing new in it but what let me down or make me sad is to see that even after knowing all these things we often neglect our parents in old age.

I have seen many old couples who live all alone despite having so many sons or daughters. It’s not like that they can’t live on their own but what kills them is their loneliness. Our parents have been with us at every step of our way. We often say that for a better job we have to go out and hence it’s hard for us to stick to our parents but do we ever think that how hard it was for them to leave their comfort and come to cities just because of our studies. They compromised with ltl ltl things so that we get a good education. It was not easy for them too.. Imagine all the trouble we gave them starting with our non-stop crying in infancy, to changing our diapers all the time and now when our parents try to speak to us, we found that annoying or unwanted talk. At the age of two do u remember how much we used to tire our mother because she has to constantly run behind us for food. But later when our parents don’t eat, do we run behind them the same. In fact some of us don’t even try to ask them again for it. How can we forget those times when we used to  tore up the library books, our unending fights with our brothers& sisters while playing hide and seek or cricket,  What really surprises me is the way our lives has been changed, we are so good at defending our self but not for understanding others. Parents start out as caregivers but later become friends. Soon in their old age they need a companion, someone who will look at the world in their point of view, relax, sit, and listen. We need to learn that our parents won’t ask us for their needs, we need to start looking for as to what they need.  Taking care of our parents is a blessing to be cherished for not a duty to perform. In fact lucky are those who got this chance to present something to their parents.

Sometimes a simple gesture makes a big room in your heart.. Met a very nice old man in the morning today at hospital where my nana ji is admitted.  Just loved the innocence that these old age people carry with themselves.  Just can’t get over with the childish smile these people have on their faces. sometimes  I thank these people coz somewhere I get inspired watching them and my heart get flooded with so much love and emotions which helps me to become a better person day by day..

 Love is the fastest healer. It can heal anything.  We can’t even imagine how a simple smile of our’s, a nice talk and a soft touch can do miracles for the other person. The best thing that we can do for a sick person is to just tell them how much they mean to us in our lives. Let love and be loved J

 We owe it to the ones who gave us life and helped us flourish into the people we are now today.

With Love

Kiran Bhardwaj

 

 

For the one in my memory

There are moments when something very much unexpected happens in your life, something that you have never even imagined, something that halts your life for minutes and you need time to get out of that shock.

Death comes by two ways. One is when you have no control over it, it happens mostly because of illness, accidents or by some genuine natural way but the second one is when you yourself choose to take away your life…… The most harsh and daunting decision of one’s life- and of course the most difficult one too.. I don’t have a slightest of idea as like what might have been the reasons behind such suicides, what exactly went on person’s mind the moment they plan to execute it??  But whatever it may be… steps like this should never be taken in any way…

I am dedicating this blog to all the girls and boys of my age and most importantly this blog is in remembrance to one of the finest girls I have met in my life,  she was nice, smart, lovable, decent, sensible , patient , beautiful , jovial and so on. I have never seen any flaw in her, always loving and caring who got married just a few months back and who left us just a day before.

Marriage is a beautiful institution where two people join hands and choose to stay together all their lives. For me it’s the most sacred relationship where  two people surrender themselves to one another,  both come into relationship with thousands of dreams in eyes , so many aspirations and love. It’s the most difficult as well as the most important decision of one’s life to choose someone who can complete him/her.

Acc to me the full meaning of marital commitment is being the most important person to someone and having someone as your most important person. Most of us always want our lives to be cherished and funny as it has always been when we were single, we expect the same thing when we get mingle but the moment that very special person of our life starts caring, asking or demands time from us, that very relationship starts pinching us down. Don’t take me wrong but I guess there are a 50% couples who comes in relationship without even has a slightest of idea that being in the relationship means, sharing your life with someone else.  And by sharing I mean, sharing of our time, our family, our love and everything.  Everyone wants love but no one wants the responsibilities attached to it. Marriage is a responsibility towards each other, when we get committed to someone, we need to understand that from now on that person is a part of our life, and directly or indirectly every act of ours will affect our partner’s life so we can’t think only for our self .  In relationships we are no longer a single bird, we are paired and hence we have to think in that way.

I just have one thing to say to everyone out here that please don’t marry until you are not ready to accept the responsibilities attached with marriage, don’t spoil anyone’s life just for a few minutes of pleasure or for your parent’s happiness. Marry only when you are ready to commit yourself to one single soul and are ready to share everything with him/ her, otherwise be single and enjoy as much as you want in your own way. No one will interfere in your life if you don’t wish to. If you are fully ready to accept someone’s presence in your life then only commit yourself . Everyone is someone’s dream and hence if she/he is not the one of your dreams, then might be there is someone at other side who desperately waits n wants him/her.

This one  is  for boys, that remember a girl leaves her home and enters your home just with a faith that you will be there to look her up. I have my own brother unmarried, cousin going to get married next month, it’s for every male who is in my life in any form, brothers, friends or anyone, no matter how harsh may a situation gets, no matter how wrong your partner gets, tell her she is wrong, show your anger but still support her, be with her because you are the only one she is most intimate with, she trust u more than anyone in this world.

Life waits for no one, it's just go on and on, people become memories and we move on with our respective lives.

May God give us the patience; tolerance and understanding to run our lives in a smoother way. May we be blessed with this hard core fact of life that no matter how much we fly, roam , hurt, love , ditch , betrays someone during our good young days but ultimately in the end everything fades and then you will realize how important it is for us to have that most important person in our life.

As I was discussing with a friend of mine today that what matters in life is not our partner’s property, position or beauty but it’s always his/ her nature and good will that counts the most.

With love to all and especially to that beautiful jovial lady with whom I spent a lovely good time during my commuting hours.

You will always be remembered but I just wish, May u faced it in a more courageous way!!!!

Love

Kiran Bhardwaj