“Be the heroine of your life"

We all have heard and read a lot that, in a country like India where goddesses are worshipped, women are treated like commodity. We have been told again and again that women in India are treated as a pleasure doll by men who use them for amusement to satisfy their lust and then they throw them away. Women are being harassed and assaulted physically mentally and emotionally since years but her plight has still not ended and their condition is deteriorating day by day. “Hundreds of time we have been told that all women need is respect care and attention, give it to her and she will make your life heaven”…

All that I have written above is true and I strongly believe that yes, our society still holds negative mentality for women. No matter how modern we become or how much broad minded we show ourselves to be, we are still a male dominated society.  But wait; think again, do we ever think why women need all such sympathies and consolations? What’s the need to say that women want respect n then only she can make your life heaven” stating these sorts of things for women actually show them more like a commodity.

I felt a need to write today by an instance that happened to me in the morning when I received a message from someone stating she was mentally and sexually used by somebody and then ditched later. He promised her of marriage and did what he wants with and later married a girl of his parent’s choice. Girl feel traumatized now and she wants to speak up to his newly wed wife now.  In the first instance I felt a strong agitation for the boy and his family, to ditch someone is sin and he should be punished for that and I still go with this but what outraged me is the state of girl too……being myself as a women, I do understand what a girl in that situation must be feel like, but still who the hell gave that guy permission to use her…no one dares to touch us without our permission (Rapes / forceful assault are exception and a separate issue). Why we girls don’t have control over ourselves. firstly we submit ourselves to other in the name of love and then later when something bad happens we cry and go on to blame our gender for that…..many people may find me wrong but reality is that many a times we women our self-responsible for our pathetic condition.

Are we so insecure, or dependent that some once can use us in the name of marriage? I feel surprised to even think of that. Marriage cannot be imposed on someone….marriage is a beautiful institution which binds two people in one thread. It’s a mutual decision and comes out of respect and love.

I feel terrible for girls who let themselves being used and then claim they are girls and men don’t respect them. We don’t want respect. Just because we are girls doesn’t mean we should be always respected and listened to. Respect is earned not demanded….women are strong and independent enough to earn that respect and love.

It’s high time now to understand that we women need not to say ”we are women and hence it happened” every time… we should take the responsibility of our every action. We are not puppets. we have got laws with us, we have got every fundamental right  that a man in this country has…our constitution has not discriminated anybody…..let’s stop them who say “women need sympathy and respect,  give it to them” let’s go out and find our own way….lets pledge that we won’t let anybody use us or to make fool of ours “It’s not always necessary to be strong, but to feel strong.”. Let’s feel strong about our identity and gender……we are not vulnerable……we have got everything. Let’s start from our self and spread it to the world…….we don’t need anybody’s sympathy….Remember, “inability, vulnerability, weakness or poverty is just a state of mind” in order to face them, all we need is a strong mind.

We all are independent enough to make our decisions and strong enough to stick by them. Don’t demand anything from anyone, let’s go and earn it and if anyone comes between this go and grab him. We have enough power within us to stand for our rights and get justice”

  “Be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” 

Love

Kiran Bhardwaj